"Luvliner" Part 2:

VARRTAN
No... please.... True love must not be hurried. The roots must be allowed to 
take hold and nourish the blossoming flower of--
Zev grabs him by the loincloth and swings him toward the bed.
ZEV
Move it!
The door is kicked in. Wheeling around, Zev releases VARRTAN, who is 
instantly incinerated with a blast from AULK'S black-pak. As Zev looks on in 
shock, Aulk steps in holding STAN in front of him. SCHLEMMI is behind him 
holding 790.
790
Darling wonderful Zev! Are you all right?
Schlemmi plucks a screwdriver device from his suit and expertly sticks it 
into 790's still exposed circuitry, shutting him off.
SCHLEMMI
(gesturing to Zev)
So we don't need this one?
AULK
No.
Schlemmi produces a nasty looking taser weapon and steps up to Zev.
SCHLEMMI
Good. I want to kill her.
AULK
Why?
SCHLEMMI
I listen in on everyone. She's still a virgin. I've never killed a virgin 
before.
His taser crackles with deadly energy as he extends it toward her bosom.
SCHLEMMI
I like new experiences, remember?
Aulk steps forward and grabs Schlemmi's arm.
AULK
(grinning maliciously at Zev)
And I like to experience the new. Bring her along.
SCHLEMMI
Awww...
EXT. LEXX - NIGHT
AULK'S shuttle is seen approaching the LEXX.
INT. LEXX, BRIDGE - NIGHT
STAN is lashed to the control pedestal. Only his magic hand is free. ZEV is 
also bound to the pedestal. 790 lays at her feet, not functioning. Stan 
speaks in a hushed tone.
STAN
This is not good.
Zev does not respond as she glares at her captors with grim determination.
SCHLEMMI skips up to the viewing screen, looking at LUVLINER floating in the 
distance.
AULK stands nearby, arms folded.
SCHLEMMI
Okay Mr. Captain. Open frequency K17-LX24.
STAN
Do as he says, Lexx.
A wave pattern forms on the viewing screen, resolving into an image of FOUR 
MIDDLE AGED MEN -old toughs- sitting around a table with drinks, playing some 
sort of gambling game. The two meanest looking are FLINTOKK and PROO. They 
are not happy to be disturbed.
SCHLEMMI
Hey Flintokk! Hey Proo! This is Schlemmi Zakkakkakk, former manager of your 
skanky, semen blasted piss pit known as Luvliner. That's right you jarheads! 
I resign!
FLINTOKK
(on view screen, stunned)
Why are you suddenly so interested in dying, Schlemmi?
SCHLEMMI
Me dying? Oh that's good. Listen, you screwed me for all those years while I 
ran your freak show out of that floating toilet! Bad pay. No respect. But now 
your lips are going to be pressed on my butt for a change. Watch your 
monitor, Pimp Sisters. It's payback time! 
Their eyes shift left as...
...Schlemmi elbows Stan in the ribs.
SCHLEMMI
Let's party.
STAN
Lexx, destroy Luvliner.
LEXX
As you request, Stan.
EXT. LEXX - NIGHT
The Lexx unleashes its beam upon LUVLINER, and the big satellite is blown to 
dust.
INT. LEXX, BRIDGE - NIGHT
SCHLEMMI hoots and hollers, jumps up and down and shakes his fist at the 
image of destruction. AULK is quietly impressed. The Boys on the screen are 
quietly apoplectic.
SCHLEMMI
Yes! Yes!! Goodbye, dog pound! Goodbye smell of urine and drunken whores and 
creepy old men with hair on their backs and their hands down their pants. See 
ya skin lesions, open sores, stained sheets, soiled underwear everywhere and
overall rude behavior! Die! Die!
(turning to Stan)
Now tell the bug to set course for Omadda-19.
AULK
What for?
SCHLEMMI
(to the boys on screen)
Because we're going to finish the job!
He gestures to Stan and Stan ends the transmission.
AULK
(not overly concerned)
Ommada-19 has three billion people on it. You're going to kill them all just 
to get your bosses?
SCHLEMMI
It's not my fault if they decided to live on the wrong planet.
Aulk smacks Schlemmi on the back of the head.
AULK
Don't you know what we've got here moron? The Lexx! These are the people who 
stole it from His Shadow!
SCHLEMMI
(clueless)
Yeah. So? His Shadow is dead.
AULK
No. He's back idiot. And do you have any idea of the reward he'd give us for 
the return of the Lexx. Anything we want! Planets to rule! Anything!
SCHLEMMI
I want to go to Ommada-19 and put a cap in their asses.
Aulk grabs him by a cord hanging off his electric suit.
AULK
And I want you to shut up, Plug Boy. Anyway there's something we have to do 
first.
INT. CRYO-CHAMBER - NIGHT
AULK and SCHLEMMI stand in front of Kai's cryo-pod. Kai's body is frozen 
inside. Aulk is mighty pleased to have found him.
SCHLEMMI
So he's a frozen assassin.
AULK
(with admiration)
A dead frozen assassin.
SCHLEMMI
So what do you want with him? I mean hey, whatever gets you dancing, but....
AULK
Imbecile! He's Kai, the last of the Brunnen-G. There was a prophecy that he 
would destroy the Divine Order, so His Shadow wants him more than anything.
(ripping open the lid of the pod)
Or at least part of him.
Aulk produces a hilt from his belt. He flicks a switch, and a long, thin 
razor sharp blade springs out of it. He casually leans over Kai's frozen form 
and...
...cuts off his head.
SCHLEMMI
Cool.
Aulk smiles proudly at Kai's head before tossing it to Schlemmi.
AULK
Bag it.
...Schlemmi looks at Kai's head with curiosity, sticking his fingers in the 
neck stump to see how it feels.
Aulk slams the cryo-pod shut. He flicks another switch on his hilt and a tiny 
blowtorch extends out. He starts to weld the pod shut.
SCHLEMMI
What are you doing?
AULK
We've got to destroy the body.
SCHLEMMI
Why?
AULK
Because if it thaws out it can still operate. We gotta move while it's still 
frozen.
SCHLEMMI
So how do we destroy it, smart guy?
Aulk ponders for a moment, then smiles as the solution dawns on him.
INT. MOTH - NIGHT
An hysterical SCHLEMMI is at the controls of a Moth.
SCHLEMMI
Don't open it! Do not open it!!
AULK'S VOICE
(on intercom)
Pay attention!
SCHLEMMI
I'm not gonna do this!
Schlemmi's Moth is revealed to be...
INT. LEXX, AIRLOCK - NIGHT
...in one of the organic airlocks of the Lexx. Kai's pod is strapped to the 
top with stretchy sinew, his frozen body inside. The vessel is in launch 
readiness.
Aulk's voice is heard barking at Schlemmi in voice over.
AULK (V.O.)
You are!
The airlock starts to open.
INT. MOTH - NIGHT
SCHLEMMI is on the verge of panic.
SCHLEMMI
How do I know you're not just going to leave me out there? Huh? How do I know 
you're not going to dump me and keep the bug for yourself?
AULK'S VOICE
(on intercom)
I'm not. I love you too much.
SCHLEMMI
Love? The only love I know forms a crust if you don't wash it off.
His Moth starts to rock and move forward as...
INT. LEXX, AIRLOCK - NIGHT
...the organic airlock opens completely. The Moth flies out through the 
massive membranal opening.
EXT. SPACE - NIGHT
The Moth, piloted by SCHLEMMI, drifts out in front of the LEXX'S giant eyes.
INT. MOTH - NIGHT
SCHLEMMI listens to the voice of Aulk over his intercom.
AULK'S VOICE
Go ahead. Cut him loose.
Schlemmi starts cutting a piece of stretchy sinew that runs through the 
cockpit and connects to Kai's pod.
SCHLEMMI
Just don't cut me loose!
He finishes cutting and-
EXT. SPACE - NIGHT
-Kai's pod releases, drifting away from the
Moth.
INT. MOTH - NIGHT
SCLEMMI takes a moment to admire his success. Then he speaks into the 
intercom.
SCHLEMMI
There. Dead guy go bye bye. I have done my job and done it well and I am 
coming back to the ship now. Can you hear me?
(slowly, deliberately)
I am coming back to the ship now!
INT. BRIDGE - NIGHT
AULK and the captive CREW watch Kai's pod float away on the viewing screen. 
AULK holds KAI'S HEAD not in a bag but in a clear plastic box.
AULK
(to Schlemmi)
Drive safely.
Inside the box Kai's head is cold and still.
Aulk holds it up to Zev.
AULK
Present for you.
Zev looks at Kai, then at Aulk with hate in her eyes.
ZEV
You will pay.
AULK
(grinning with lust)
No. We will play.
He tucks the box under his arm, looks to see Kai's pod on the screen, then 
moves to Stan.
AULK
Nail it.
The image of a panicked SCHLEMMI at the controls of the Moth momentarily 
appears on the view screen.
SCHLEMMI
I'm not back in the ship yet!
AULK
So hurry.
Aulk looks to Stan.
STAN
(terrified)
Please. Kai is... my... friend...
In an instant, Aulk has a blade against Zev's throat.
AULK
He's your target.
(calling back to screen)
You in yet?
SCHLEMMI'S VOICE
Yeah! I'm in.
Aulk glares at Stan.
AULK
Nail it!
His one hand holds the blade against Zev's neck. His other squeezes Stan's 
mouth, making it move.
ZEV
Don't Stan!
Stan tries to react. Aulk's knife presses in
deeper.
STAN
It's only his body, Zev.... Lexx... fire.
LEXX
As you request Stan.
EXT. LEXX - NIGHT
Kai's pod tumbles in the void. The Lexx distorts its ocular parabola and 
fires at it. But the target is too small. The plane of destruction sails past 
the pod. Lexx does not have the precision to hit it.
INT. BRIDGE - NIGHT
A disappointed AULK sees that the pod has not been destroyed.
AULK
Again.
STAN
He's too small-
AULK
Again!
STAN
Fire again Lexx.
EXT. LEXX - NIGHT
Another shot. Another miss. A small moon far in the distance is blown up. 
Aulk is heard over.
AULK (V.O.)
Again!!!
INT. BRIDGE - NIGHT
The frustrated AULK watches yet another blast miss Kai. SCHLEMMI is now back 
on the bridge.
SCHLEMMI
Good plan. Worked great. I'm sure glad you're calling the shots.
AULK
Shut up!
SCHLEMMI
(facetious)
Bring him back and slice him into steaks. We'll have a bar-be-que.
Aulk lights up at this last word.
EXT. LEXX - NIGHT
The LEXX changes direction...
EXT. SPACE, BLAZING STAR - NIGHT
...and is soon in orbit around a small blazing star that burns with the heat 
of a sun. A Moth flies out from the Lexx and assumes a trajectory into the 
star. Kai's pod is strapped to the top of it.
INT. MOTH - NIGHT
An unhappy SCHLEMMI is once again at the
controls.
SCHLEMMI
(into intercom)
Now what?
AULK'S VOICE
(over intercom)
Velocity! Get more velocity!
SCHLEMMI
(mimicking under his breath)
Get more velocity....
He accelerates the Moth, kicking it as he does...
EXT. SPACE - NIGHT
...and it moves faster and faster toward the star.
INT. LEXX, BRIDGE - NIGHT
AULK and the captive CREW watch the Moth on the screen. Schlemmi's voice is 
heard in transmission.
SCHLEMMI'S VOICE
I still don't trust you.
AULK
Faster.
SCHLEMMI'S VOICE
It's getting hot in here!
AULK
Faster.
EXT. SPACE - NIGHT
The Moth picks up still greater velocity.
INT. MOTH - NIGHT
SCHLEMMI is starting to sweat.
SCHLEMMI
When.... When.... WHEN?!
AULK'S VOICE
Hold it.... Hold it.... a little more... Now!
Let it go now! Reverse!
Schlemmi pulls back on the throttle as hard as he can-
EXT. SPACE - NIGHT
-and the Moth comes to a sudden halt.
But Kai's pod does not. It is launched forward, flung out in the grip of 
stretchy sinew, which snaps away at the last moment. The pod spins away and 
assumes a trajectory into the blazing star.
INT. BRIDGE - NIGHT
The HIJACKERS watch Kai's pod tumble away toward the fiery star.
SCHLEMMI
So, I don't get it. We baked the stiff and we've got the bug... why don't we 
just keep it? Why do we have to go find His Shadow? It's the most powerful 
thing in the universe, right?
AULK
And that's why His Shadow will be sure to find us. He wants the bug back, 
retard.
SCHLEMMI
Stop calling me names!
AULK
Stop earning them.
SCHLEMMI
I set up this job!
AULK
You also screw robot heads.
Aulk is distracted by movement in the box he. He sees--
-KAI'S HEAD opening its eyes and looking around.
AULK
And speaking of heads, this one finally thawed out.
He picks up the box, opens it, and stares at Kai. Zev seethes with anger as 
she watches. She emits involuntary Cluster Lizard growls.
ZEV
Put him down!
Aulk shrugs and drops Kai's head box to the floor. It lands with a thud. Aulk 
sneers at Zev and picks it up again. Kai's head speaks.
KAI
You're a rough and tumble sort of fellow, aren't you?
Aulk scoffs. Schlemmi's jaw drops open.
AULK
I'm the one who fired your carcass into that sun.
SCHLEMMI
(thrilled)
It talks!
He rips the box out of Aulk's grasp and dances around the bridge with it.
SCHLEMMI
Can I have him?
He flips Kai up to face him.
SCHLEMMI
Hey head! How are you?
KAI
As well as can be expected.
SCHLEMMI
Yeah? Well I bet you're not expecting this!
He pulls Kai's head out of the box by the braid and whips his arm around and 
around as fast as he can.
SCHLEMMI
Whoooooo!!!!!
ZEV
Stop!
STAN
(enraged)
Stop that! Put him down or--
Schlemmi ignores them, but soon he flips Kai's head back up to face him.
SCHLEMMI
How was that?
KAI
Zippy.
SCHLEMMI
(laughing)
I like Mr. Head.
He spies the non-functioning head of 790 on the floor. His eyes light up.
SCHLEMMI
Hey!
He scoops up 790 with his free hand, looking back and forth to each head.
SCHLEMMI
I could really get into something here....
Aulk angrily swipes Kai's head back from Schlemmi and replaces it in the box.
AULK
Give me that!
Schlemmi sulks as Aulk walks up and presses against Stan face to face.
Kai's head box hangs in his hand, eye level with Zev. She seethes with anger 
and compassion for Kai.
ZEV
Kai....
KAI
I cannot see my body. There is nothing I can do.
Aulk jerks Kai's head roughly.
AULK
Shut up!
Stan trembles helplessly in front of his imposing captor.
AULK
Or what?
STAN
P-pardon me?
AULK
You said put him down or--. Or what?
STAN
Or... or.... Put him down or... don't! Keep holding him... if you want. Your 
choice.
He titters in fear. Aulk grabs a finger of Stan's magic hand, and bends it 
back violently, breaking it. Stan shrieks in pain.
AULK
That's my choice.
Aulk steps away and turns Kai's head to face him. He sneers, then turns Kai 
to face the image of the blazing star on the viewing screen.
AULK
Feeling the heat?
KAI
Are you?
Aulk laughs, deep and hearty.
EXT. SPACE - NIGHT
The hot star looms large. Kai's cryo-pod tumbles toward it.
Inside the cryo-pod, Kai's body steams as it thaws.
INT. LEXX, BRIDGE - NIGHT
SCHLEMMI holds KAI'S head aloft in its box.
SCHLEMMI
Feeling well?
KAI
Well done.
SCHLEMMI
No kidding.
He casually tosses the box onto the deck where it lands with a bounce.
SCHLEMMI
Okay. We're finished here. He's history. Let's go make some boom-boom on 
Ommada-19.
AULK
Until the body is definitely fried, we stay here.
SCHLEMMI
(pouting)
How long is that going to be?
Aulk does not respond, but instead walks up to Zev. He looms over her, 
grinning with malicious intent.
AULK
Just long enough.
He presses in tight, leering into her face.
AULK
So, you're really a virgin?
Zev's response is a Cluster Lizard growl. Aulk laughs with excitement for the 
first time.
AULK
Well you're about to have your first, your best... and your last.
He withdraws his familiar hilt, flicks a switch, and a nasty looking blade 
springs out.
AULK
(to Schlemmi)
Prop up the head. I want him to watch.
SCHLEMMI
Sure....
Schlemmi picks up Kai's head and sets it on the upper deck. Then he turns and 
looks at 790. Smiling, he reaches into his suit and produces the same 
screwdriver device he used earlier to turn 790 off.
SCHLEMMI
I've got some unfinished business myself.
He picks up 790 and jams the device into the robot's still exposed circuitry. 
790's face screens flicker and scroll for several moments, then his features 
materialize. He finds himself looking into the eyes of a hot-to-go Schlemmi.
SCHLEMMI
Hiya handsome.
790 screams.
Aulk has cut Zev loose. He hauls her roughly onto the middle of the deck. He 
kneels and straddles her, keeping his blade at her throat. Zev flinches but 
tries to remain stoic.
STAN
Don't do it. Please....
AULK
Another word, another finger.
He leans in close to Zev.
AULK
Yummy.
On the other side of the bridge, Schlemmi is firing up his suit in 
preparation for generating some current with 790.
790
I don't care what you do with me, but don't harm Zev!
SCHLEMMI
Don't worry. When Aulk's done with her there won't be anything left for me to 
harm.
He picks up 790 and unfurls a cable from the battery pack strapped around his 
groin.
SCHLEMMI
He's sick.
He jams the cable into 790. 790 screams and sparks as his face screens start 
scrolling like crazy.
Helpless inside his box, Kai's head can only watch.
EXT. SPACE - NIGHT
Kai's pod continues its trip toward the blazing star. Inside, his skin is 
starting to blister and bubble.
INT. BRIDGE - NIGHT
AULK runs his tongue slowly up the length of ZEV'S neck. She stares at him 
hard and continues to growl, but he is unfazed. Schlemmi can be heard 
whooping it up in the background.
AULK
And just when I thought that it would never be special again....
He suddenly flips his knife around and hits her in the temple with the hilt. 
She gasps and her eyes close. He sits up and starts to undo his belt, 
whistling. As he fumbles with it...
...Zev's eyes open. She looks up at her attacker through hazy vision. He 
still clutches his knife but sets it down to better undress.
Zev sees this, and her growling intensifies.
AULK
That's right. Growl for it, baby.
He picks up his knife and flips it around to strike her again.
Schlemmi tunes into Zev's sound and suddenly gets nervous.
SCHLEMMI
Geez, I know that sound.... Cluster Lizard! She sounds like a Cluster Lizard!
ZEV
Exactly!
Zev's growl resolves into a full-fledged lizard shriek. She grabs a fearful 
Aulk by the collar.

CUT TO:
Moments later as he crashes onto the deck on the opposite end of the bridge. 
Before he can recover Zev is upon him in a lizard fury, bashing him 
senseless.
SCHLEMMI looks on in total shock. 790 falls out of his hands.
STAN
Get him Zev! Get him! Be a lizard! Eat his brain!
Zev hauls Aulk up to sitting. She looks at him with murder in her eyes. She 
hauls her fist back...
ZEV
(voice inflected with lizard sounds)
For Kai.
...and smashes him in the face. She pulls it back again-
ZEV
For Stan.
-and hits him again. The fist swings back.
ZEV
For 790.
Into the face. Back with the fist. She hesitates.
ZEV
For my date.
Once more into his ugly mug. He falls back, unconscious.
KAI'S HEAD
Stan. Go after my body.
STAN
You heard him Lexx! Head for the sun, quick-time!
EXT. LEXX - NIGHT
The LEXX surges ahead into space.
INT. BRIDGE - NIGHT
SCHLEMMI backs away from a wild-eyed Zev as she advances on him. 790 lays 
smoking but functional on the deck.
SCHLEMMI
Umm- hold on there! Did I tell you Luvliner is a franchise? I'm sure I could 
arrange free passes at one of the other--
790
Kill him Zev!
790 shorts out again.
Zev sees Schlemmi look down, searching for the taser device he threatened her 
with earlier. It is hanging off of a clip on his suit. She swipes it off-
-and touches it to the end of the crotch plug he was using on 790. A surge of 
current passes through him. He careens around the bridge in the grip of the 
voltage before crashing to the floor.
Zev looks at his moaning form in triumph, then glances at the viewing screen. 
The star looms large, but Kai's pod is nowhere to be seen.
ZEV
(to Stan)
Hurry Stan!
STAN
We're going as fast as we can!
EXT. SPACE - NIGHT
Kai's pod continues to tumble into the star, now starting to smoke.
The LEXX is far behind it but gaining. The hull of the great ship is starting 
to smoke too.
INT. BRIDGE - NIGHT
ZEV holds KAI'S HEAD aloft in its container.
ZEV
Don't worry Kai. We'll get your body back.
KAI'S HEAD
I am not worried, but thank you.
Suddenly AULK'S bulky form rises up. His nose is smashed and bloody. Zev 
spins around to see him as he places his knife up to Stan's throat.
AULK
Turn the bug around. Now!
STAN
Lexx... turn around.
LEXX
As you request Stan.
EXT. SPACE - NIGHT
The LEXX starts to veer away from the now very large star.
INT. BRIDGE - NIGHT
AULK still has the blade pressed tight into Stan's throat.
AULK
(to Zev)
I'm going to have to forego the raping and cut straight to the killing. Too 
bad for you.
ZEV
I'm heart broken.
At that moment, Schlemmi suddenly sits up.
SCHLEMMI
(rabid)
Yeah! I want to kill the bitch!
Aulk glances at his partner. Zev takes advantage of the momentary distraction 
to-
--throw Kai's head at Aulk. The container strikes him in the forehead and 
bounces away. Aulk staggers back--
--and Zev leaps at him, tackling him onto the deck. But Aulk throws her off 
and dives on her. They are embroiled in a fierce wresting match. Schlemmi 
reaches for his weapon but it is nowhere to be found.
STAN
Lexx! Back after Kai's body!
LEXX
It is very hot here, but as you request Stan.
EXT. SPACE - NIGHT
The LEXX resumes its original course back toward the star in pursuit of Kai's 
pod.
INT. BRIDGE - NIGHT
ZEV and AULK continue to hurl each other about the bridge. In the process 
they both kick Kai's head container around like a football. It finally 
bounces to a position just behind Stan.
Kai has a clear view of the blazing star on the screen.
STAN tries in vain to free himself from his bonds-
-as SCHLEMMI locates his taser on the deck. He picks it up and tests it. It 
works fine. He looks at Stan with hatred.
SCHLEMMI
Reverse your course.
STAN
Who...? Me?
Schlemmi starts to get to his feet.
SCHLEMMI
Do it!
Zev and Aulk spin wildly across the deck, arms interlocked. Zev juts her face 
forward and bites Aulk hard on his smashed-in nose. He screams and throws his 
head back, exposing his neck. Zev bites down hard, causing him excruciating 
pain. But he manages to throw her off. Zev flies away-
--and falls over the edge of the bridge. 
INT. CONTROL CHAMBER - NIGHT
ZEV grabs on to the railing at the last second, hanging on for dear life over 
the abyss. She gets a grip with both hands and looks up to see-
-AULK looming above her. His heavy boot comes crunching down on one of her 
hands, forcing her to release it and cry out in pain. His boot lifts again 
and stomps on her good hand, but she reestablishes her grip with her injured
hand before allowing the other to release. 
AULK
You got a lot of spunk. It could've been a ride to remember.
His boot comes down again and she screams.
SCHLEMMI is now upon Stan with his taser pointing into Stan's face, and in 
doing so is blocking KAI'S HEAD from being able to see the screen.
Zev's screams fill the bridge as Schlemmi commands Stan.
SCHLEMMI
Reverse course.
The taser crackles a breath away from Stan's throat. Stan gulps.
STAN
Lexx....
POV STAN: He sees a minuscule, smoking object on the view screen. His brow 
twitches ever so slightly.
STAN
I command you to....
The object grows closer... closer....
CUT TO:
Aulk continuing to slam his foot down on Zev's hands with sadistic pleasure. 
Both her hands are badly battered. She barely makes the switch this time, and 
will not make the next.
CUT TO:
The object on the screen getting closer still.
STAN
...command you to...
The object resolves into-
-Kai's pod, now dangerously close to burning up completely.
Stan takes a quick glance back at Kai's head to reorient himself to its 
position, and swallows hard. He turns back to the screen.
STAN
Get that cryo-pod!
Schlemmi's eyes bulge in shock at Stan's audacity, but before he can use his 
taser Stan head butts him and he drops away...
...giving Kai's head a clear view of his cryo-pod on the screen.
KAI
(calm)
Thank you Stan.
EXT. SPACE - NIGHT
The now smoldering LEXX is almost upon Kai's smoking pod.
INT. CRYO-POD - NIGHT
Kai's body twitches. His brace arm rises slightly, aims...
...and fires. The blade smashes through the pod...
EXT. SPACE - NIGHT
...flies through space...
EXT. LEXX - NIGHT
...pierces the LEXX...
INT. BRIDGE - NIGHT
...and just as AULK is about to deliver the final blow to ZEV, whips down 
upon him and cleaves through his body.
He teeters for a moment, then falls past Zev into the control chamber far 
below.
Schlemmi smiles weakly and gently sets his taser down.
Zev swings her loose hand up, gets a secure grip on the railing, and pulls 
herself up with her remaining strength.
EXT. SPACE - NIGHT
The LEXX swings around, reversing direction.
The blazing star grows smaller in the distance.
INT. BRIDGE - NIGHT
Everything is back to normal. KAI is whole again, 790 functioning, STAN free; 
his broken finger restored as he removes it from the contraption 790 used to 
reattach his hand in an earlier episode (SUPER NOVA). ZEV is on terra firma, 
her hands wrapped in gauze.
790
Pardon my frankness, oh adored one, but such terrible encounters can be 
avoided in the future if you only accept me as your one true love.
His eyes fade out, replaced by scrolling hearts.
STAN
Or me! I still remember how you looked at me the other day. And I don't 
require the true love part.
ZEV
No. I've had it for now. Love is no longer on the menu.
STAN
You'll change your mind once you try Stan's cooking.
790
Tweedle, your life will end in pain.
Zev looks to Kai, exasperated.
KAI
You three must work it out.
He turns, leaves the bridge...
INT. CRYO-CHAMBER - NIGHT
...and settles in to a new cryo-pod. The lid closes over him.
INT. PLANET OMMADA-19, OFFICE - NIGHT
A plush office with windows looking out onto a large city. FLINTOKK and PROO 
simmer with rage as they stand over a radio console.
FLINTOKK
Play the last part again.
Proo hits a button. A blast of static, and then the end of the message 
Schlemmi transmitted from on board the Lexx is heard.
SCHLEMMI'S VOICE
...freak show out of that floating toilet! Bad pay. No respect. But now your 
lips are going to be pressed on my butt for a change. Watch your monitor, 
Pimp Sisters. It's payback time!
FLINTOKK
That punk! That maggoty little bastard!
Proo produces a nasty looking, razor sharp knife.
PROO
If I ever get a hold of him I'll use his skin for a shower curtain!
FLINTOKK
First I'd break his toes, then his fingers, then his elbows, then his knees-
He is cut off when the ceiling suddenly explodes open as something crashes 
through it. They spin around, blinded by a cloud of dust. When it finally 
clears their jaws drop open, then they form into big, sweet smiles.
Sprawled on his ass, grinning sheepishly up at them, is a bound SCHLEMMI. He 
is surrounded by pieces of a broken cryo-pod.
SCHLEMMI
Hi fellas....
EXT. SPACE - NIGHT
...The LEXX disappears into the void as Schlemmi's screams fill the universe.
FADE OUT:

THE END

That's all for now, folks...

Brother Randor

randor (salter@lexx.com)
Thursday, September 18, 1997 10:24 AM