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1.0 "I Worship His Shadow"                                                    21
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There once was a Security Guard,
Who's live was quit painful and hard.
But on his head sat,
A cute little hat.
And the number on it matched his card.

One day he got into a jam.
He was rude to a in-charge type ma'am.
She said "Demote him,
or cut off a limb."
And it looked like the end for poor Stan.

And bug bomb bumped him in the hall.
And he missed his curtain call.
Then he was hunted,
For nothing he did.
He was doing his job, that is all.

His card it did not seem to function.
Though try and try he did punchin.
The card had expired,
And how poor Stan tired,
Knowing he now was Lexx munchems.

But then into Zev he did run.
She hid between him and a gun.
Then they got shot at,
But he kept his hat.
And then they had even more fun...

Some Cluster Lizards they did meet.
They almost became a quick treat.
Yet Zev screeched a bit;
The guards had a fit.
They didn't like being worm meat.

They met Thodin up on the plank;
He saved them from the protein bank.
And he didn't shoot,
(He thought Stan's hat cute).
And him they did heap praise and thank.

But then entered Kai, from stage left.
A Heretic's head he be-reft.
He came walking along,
With his striding all wrong.
He was here to stop them from Lexx theft.

Thodin, he kissed Zev good bye.
He said such beauty must not die.
He pulled out his eye,
And then fought with Kai.
But lost even though he did try.

Now Stan and Zev followed the last.
But someone had him for breakfast.
While being snacked upon,
Of tricks he still had one.
The Lexx key, to Stan, he had passed.

So Stan and Zev went to the bridge.
A place of skin up on a ridge.
Then they took the Lexx,
(with CG effects).
And made it their escape carriage.

Stan said "Take us away from here."
Giggerota said "To the frontier."
And so off they flew,
Watching in rear view.
Hoping His Shadow was not near.

They blew up a moon on the way out.
They danced and did some hopping about.
But then entered Kai,
And made Gigger fly.
And Stan started feeling down and out.

Before Kai could chop them up good.
He heard a cry from the think food.
A lizard was snacking;
The bowls were-a cracking.
This put them all in a foul mood.

While Kai went to save them from mauling,
Zev practiced on Stan some tooth pulling.
They found the location,
Of where to vacation.
And set off beyond Shadow calling.

They came upon a fractal core.
And Kai jumped out from a moth door.
He Said "I'm a killer,"
"And general blood spiller,"
"But I won't do that no more."

His Shadow came up and said "Hi."
"Kill them like a good boy, Kai."
Kai said "shove it man,"
"I've got a new plan."
"Your Predecessors will now DIE."

So Kai said that he'd be right back.
And flew off to make a quick snack.
His Shadow made haste;
He did not want a taste.
He went after Kai with black pack.

Zev and Stan followed them out.
Stan with a frown and a pout.
They went brain a' pickin'
"They taste just like chicken!"
While Kai and His S. fought a bout.

Kai sliced off His Shadow's bald head.
The essence attacked Kai instead.
Did it try to bait him?
Or annihilate him?
Good thing he was already dead.

So off through the core the Lexx went.
With most of the budget well spent.
There was one more blast,
But then it was past.
I hope Paul can still pay his rent!

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2.0 "Super Nova"                                                              48
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Well, let me now start on part two,
A story of Zev with hair blue.
And Stan with his hat,
And Poet Man's flat.
And Kai and the robot head too.

Poor Zev was more blue than her hair.
At Kai's body, all day, she would stare.
He still was quite dead,
Not very well fed.
But to him she would show herself bare.

Now the 'bot head would gladly perform,
But his build is just not quite the norm.
He's lacking some parts,
For the 'love making' arts.
Along with most of a good form.

So off to the bridge our Zev flew,
To make sure that Stanly H. knew..
That Brunnis was where,
She could let down her hair.
And that Kai was still part of the crew.

He'd not waste is life, muttered Stan.
But Zev, desperate, had a plan.
She took a quick soak,
And dumstruck that bloke.
And got him eating from her hand.

Now Stan, quite the man, was so sad.
By him, Zev was not to be had.
Begging tried he,
And sympathy.
And death would just make 'bot head glad.

Now Gig, in then mean time, got better.
Her brain, however, lost a letter.
She cannot say 'I',
Does she even try?
She likes to eat flesh, should we let her?

She took a quick bite from a moth.
That kind of snack would make me cough.
The moth lost a knee.
'Thats not Sara Lee!'
Did it taste like hot chicken broth?

They caught up to Gig, browsing Kai.
She had a twinkle in her eye.
But he canceled dinner.
Now she will get thinner,
Unless she has a brain to fry.

They tied up The Wicked a bit.
She looked ready to throw a fit.
Her tongue did a quiver;
She wanted Stan's liver.
And so she did go after it.

Mean while the crew, having landed,
(On Brunnis, which was long abandonded),
Went to the big head,
To make Kai un-dead.
Clueless that that they might soon be stranded.

They met Poet Man's holigram.
He cut short the nice lady's spam.
And said "come on in,"
"This is where I've been,"
"Alone, all these years, with that ma'am"

So into the head our group followed.
By the door, mouth shaped, they were swallowed.
Inside it was dank,
And probably stank.
It was an odd place, this head hollowed.

They found there way down to a room,
Which was much in need of a broom.
And there was the poet,
And wouldn't you know-it.
His comments still shrouded in gloom.

He said every choice was a bad one,
And that this dull place was a sad one.
And life is so dull,
Its all piss and bull.
And how he is glad he don't have one.

So Zev made a choice, bad of course.
And Kai knew things could just get worse.
So with those two gone,
Stan was one his own.
Cowardice his greatest curse.

But Poet Man had left a trap.
Just waiting for some poor old sap.
Stan said "I want love",
And quite like a dove,
Got pulled through a door, saying "Crap!"

Now just a bit later Zev wakes,
And in a dark room double-takes.
The floor is not there,
And looks like clear air.
Show how come a shadow she fakes?

And in the mean while Stan strides,
Through lava lamps oozing, both sides.
And asks "Where am I?"
"Where are Zev and Kai?"
While poet man, his time he bides.

He comes to a curtain of red,
Something scans his groin and his head.
But it must be stale,
It says "A femail."
And Stan can't believe what it said.

"Your machine is busted," said Stan,
"I'm not fertile. I'm all Man!"
But Poet Man heard,
From Stan, not a word.
A holigram with a sick plan.

He got chained and lifted aloft,
And bid farewell to home and croft.
And while in the air,
The people did glare.
For he was a lefty, and soft.

Zev Bellringer of B3K,
Was still having quite an odd stay.
A voice from the sky,
(At least, from up high),
Did speak, and this it did say:

"Welcome to your own Burst of Life,"
"The end of your suffering and strife."
"We wan't memories,"
"And no refunds please."
"...Let's pretend that you are Kai's wife."

And Kai came in with his good suit.
Zev thought, "Oh my god, he's so cute!"
To her arms he rushed.
The audience shushed.
"I'll lead, and don't step on my foot!"

They danced some, while singing quite nice.
And said, "Will love you," once or twice.
Their heads got so close..
They were nose to nose.
I hope that Kai doesn't have lice!

A flash, and then Kai was not there,
He left, and even took his hair.
Poor Zev was surprised,
But soon realized.
That nothing in her live was fair.

Stanley had himself in a jam,
Wanted (and not by Uncle Sam).
Getting a pinprick,
Where it made us sick.
Had Elvis seen that, TV blam!

But The Wicked saved our poor Tweedle,
From getting Poet juice by needle.
She smashed the machine,
And he could be seen,
To sigh like he had met a Beatle.

But to save Stan, Gig had a deal,
To help her or be her next meal.
His outlook not good,
Betrayal or food.
With laughter, Gig started to peal.

Zev found herself stuck to a table,
And move, she was hard-il-y able.
And Kai, right next door,
Was being a bore.
Recounting some Brunnen-G fable.

"The burst of life, I think we found."
And down came a big razor, round.
"Burst was the key thing,"
Poet man did sing.
And then came an ear grating sound.

The razor, it sliced Kai in two.
His insides were all pink and blue.
And Zev screamed a bit,
And thought, "holy shit!"
She knew not what Kai's blood could do?

And then it came Zev's turn to cleave.
She was getting scared, I belive.
But out went the power,
Like a kaboo flower.
A sigh of relief, Zev did heave.

For Gig had diverted the whole,
To the stabilizer control.
Which began downsizing,
With Stan realizing,
That she here had the villian Role.

So he turn it back on again,
Then Gig tried to tempt him with sin.
But he was no giver,
He wanted his liver.
And not on a plate, with some gin.

But of skin games Gig soon got bored,
And with much tongue lashing, she roared.
She shot out a snake,
And Stan's hand, did take.
And back to her mouth his hand soared.

This loss of a hand made Stan weak,
But still for his friends he did seek.
He found a memory,
Time prophet he did see.
She told him "No time for a leak."

"You are Zev and Kai's only hope,"
"Go find them and lend them a rope."
"Though some call you skinny...
"That is you destiny."
"So get back upon your feet, dope!"

So Stan went out to save his friends,
Upon who he needs and depends.
As Stan has few of 'em,
Not many can love 'im.
(And not in the way of Sub-Ends.)

He found Zev about to be grazed,
But Stan was not quick to get phazed.
For, lacking in cares,
He looked for some stairs.
But found none, and soon his eyes glazed.

He slid down the line like a stalker.
But halfway down, became a balker.
Of rope he ran out,
And without a doubt,
Knew then that he was no Skywalker.

But starlight bounced off Kai's CD,
And back in spilled his memory.
The gear box he hit,
Which cut short Zev's split.
While rejoing his halved body.

Outside they went to catch a fly.
But the Lexx was leaving them dry.
And Gig was quite mad,
And also so sad.
She wanted to have Brains on Rye.

They went back to the power room,
To prevent their imminent doom.
But they were too slow,
The sun still would blow.
And Poet man said, "It go boom!"

So they went out to watch it go.
(It is a once in a life show.)
But stars were ah talkin',
And said, "Hey, start walkin'!"
(Kaboo makes you hear things, you know.)

So back came the lexx from afar,
Not like your ordinary car.
They caught the last flight,
And fled into night.
While in rear-view, poof went the star.

Stan got his hand fixed by the head,
Who was glad that Zev was not dead.
And Kai got re-froze,
In silent repose.
And then, I Splarka, went to bed!

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3.0 "Eatting Pattern"                                                         77
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Of food, the Lexx was running out,
And Stan could only moan and pout.
"Thats not what I wanted,"
Stan testily flaunted.
"Just feed me, stop mucking about."

Out on the Lexx bridge, the mean while,
Alone sat out poor Zev-i-phile.
The head found a probe,
From some remote globe.
And on it, a weird message file:

"Come visit Klaagya today."
"You'll love it, and have a nice stay!"
"We have lots of fun here,"
"Though fresh people are dear."
"Just stop by, and please don't delay!"

"People are like flowers you send."
"A mixture of blooming; a blend."
"But, although they try,"
"All people will die."
"But everything dies in the end."

"Look at me, I'm OK.. just fine."
"Oh shit, I think it is that time..."
"Excuse me for a bit,"
"I must go have a hit,"
"Of glow-in-the-dark pattern slime."

Then, the screen went out with a blink,
Of madness, he seemed on the brink.
Bog had a quick snack,
Before coming back,
To say, "I am blushing, I think."

"Lets make them a target," Stan said,
While frowning and shaking his head.
But seven-ninety,
Said, "As you can see,"
"They're probably already dead."

Now, cut to weeks later, at dinner.
And there's Stan, the chronic no-winner.
The food is exhausted,
Leaving poor Stan frosted.
While Zev continues to get thinner.

They go off in search of a feast,
Mineral, vegetable, or beast.
Just something to eat,
Would be really neat.
A french fry, or peanut at least!

But all they find are some old brains,
Who'd been saved for days full of rains.
They try them flame broiled,
But found them too soiled;
They had been His Shadow's past reigns.

So, now they were faced with a choice.
Starve to death or give Kai a voice.
They chose to awake him,
(or maybe to bake him?)
But his coffin was no Rolls Royce...

It turns out they'd left it on high.
And so they now had freeze-dried Kai.
Zev zapped his head,
He seemed quite dead.
And she was just about to cry.

But... something went bump in the night,
And gave Stan a bit of a fright.
The Lexx needed feeding,
Its strength was receeding.
So through asteroids it took flight.

It found a sad lump of a planet,
One that made Stanly exclaim, "Damn it."
"Its all full of trash,"
"Which gives me a rash."
"We're not going there. Lexx, please blam it!"

But Zev, ever the curious,
Did not see the point of Stan's fuss.
"It looks dead to me,"
"Right, 790?"
"Besides, it might have food for us".

So Lexx landed down for a snack,
While off went the crew, "Be right back!"
They burried poor Kai,
A tear in Zev's eye.
At eulogy, Stan had a crack:

But, lacking for words, he just said,
"Thanks Kai, for not killing us dead."
"And thanks for the trip,"
"That really was hip."
"Now, enjoy you comfy dirt bed."

In Zev, that put in just a dent,
The look to Stan said 'Go get bent!'
"Last of the Brunnen-G,"
"I just wish you could see,"
"How much, to me, you really ment."

Stan said, "Well, he's dead, let us see,"
"There's just you, and the head, and me,"
"Alone on the Lexx."
"Where we can have sex..?"
"How glad my magic hand will be."

Zev said, "Don't try it, you will fail."
"Looking at you makes me go pale."
"Your treacherous and old,"
"And look like you have mold."
"Besides, your not much of a male."

Stanly pouted, and remaind blue.
And so back to the bug, they flew.
But bot head, from Zev's lap,
Had to open his yap.
And Zev set a flightpath, quite new.

"I saw someone there, we are landing."
"My knees hurt, I must do some standing."
They landed the Moth,
And then she took off.
Of Zev, Stanly considered stranding.

Zev went in the building, just looking.
While Stan was considering booking.
She found an old crate,
That might fill her plate,
And wondered if someone was cooking.

The boxes, they didn't look clean,
But something inside could be seen.
She tried a small bite,
And MMmmmed in delight.
Had Zev never seen Soylent Green?

She took a few back for a meal,
But something, the bot head, did feel.
"Goddess with blue hair,"
"I hear someone there."
"Maybe his food, we should not steal."

They hid in a pipe through a wall,
And Zev had a bit of a fall.
Her ankle was grabbed,
And with his love nabbed,
"I love you Zev!", bot head did call.

The thing, it was big, green, and sloppy.
And of Zev, it made a good copy.
Guess it liked her too,
Well, sure, we all do!
(Hey, can I get that on a floppy?)

She got up, while feeling abused.
And went back to bot head, confused.
The thing didn't eat her,
And it didn't greet her.
But that touching can't be excused.

"My dearest love Zev, what was it?"
"I don't know," Zev said, "we should split."
Said Seven Ninety,
"With alacrity,"
"This place pleases me not one bit."

She, for once, heard what the bot said,
And so back to the moth she led.
But someone was waiting,
Add anticipating.
And she got hit right on the head.

Poor Stan, on the moth, was quite bored.
His head ached and his stomache roared.
He started to away,
But something made him stay.
His conscience would not be ignored.

Stan went out looking for Zev tracks,
And met a nice man with an axe.
He grunted with a cough,
While chopping some legs off.
I guess he wanted them for snacks.

He saw Stan and offered to trade,
But saw he was clean and well made.
And, arms and leg bending,
With his axe descending,
He went for Stan in a tirade.

"Your clean! I'm so happy! Your clean!"
"Lets chop you up and make you green!"
But life, sometimes fair,
Saved Stan by a hair.
Wist pulled him away through a screen.

They crawled for a bit down a vent,
Stan thinking Wist was heaven sent.
They had a quick kiss,
But it was not bliss...
For to Stan a worm she had lent.

Stan got a bit crazy, Wist said so.
But why would she say that? I don't know.
I guess for the most part,
Those worms are not that smart.
But once in side you, pattern must flow.

They went to the game, to see Bog.
Wist wanted some pattern to hog.
Bog brewed a small dose,
With no fresh bodies close.
"This pattern's not fit for a frog."

"We need fresh bodies for the good stuff,"
"But as you can see, there aren't enough."
Said Bog to Wist and Stan.
But Stan had a good plan,
"I know where there's one thats not too tuff."

Stan took his new gang body-nabbing,
About Kai's body he was blabbing.
But when they got there,
The pontoon was bare.
Kai was alive and beyond grabbing.

After eons, Stan thought Kai dead.
"Lot of birthday parties," Bog said.
They had no pattern mix,
But wern't yet in a fix:
A light bulb lit over Stan's head.

They ran to the Lexx to behold,
Brains, sitting in bowls, slightly cold.
They caused quite a big fuss,
Saying, "Please don't hurt us!"
"We know of great treasures untold!"

But Stan and Wist heard not their whine,
All they wanted was Bog to brine,
A nice batch of pattern,
For which Stan would soon learn,
For life it was his only line.

Stan's worm got restless for some food,
Which put Stan in an awful mood.
Wist fed Stanly's worm's face,
And gave him a necklace.
Some instructions she did include.

She said, "Your worm is your friend,"
"He'll be with you until the end."
And with that they went back,
With the brains in a sack.
The brain flesh, Bog eager to rend.

Zev, meanwhile, was in a hitch,
In Snik's room, tied up with an itch.
He wanted her head off,
But it just would not doff.
He left and she started to twitch.

He came back and found she had left,
And wondered who had pulled this theft.
The door, the culprits barred,
Patternless, he was jarred.
By his worm, his brain was bereft.

Zev was put in a big machine,
To be made into glowing green.
But bot head stopped their plan,
When tossed into the fan.
After up her skirt he had seen.

Bog came back and he was not pleased.
"You can't mix Zevs and Sniks!" he wheezed.
"Get her out of there,"
"Say, thats nice blue hair."
With her tongue, poor Bog she then teased.

"I was made the perfect female,"
"Let me go and you'll have a sale."
But Wist broke up their kiss,
She seemed ready to hiss.
She worked hard to keep Bog's brains stale.

Bog had Zev hung up on a rack.
Someone knocked. He said, "Be right back."
They found Kai, the undead,
And they lopped of his head.
Knowing not, for healing, his knack.

Bog took some Predecessors, Divine,
Whose numbers were starting to decline,
And made some green Jello,
To make his troop mellow.
(What goes good with brains, red or white-wine?)

Stan watched with his eyes all a-gleam,
As Bog made some fresh Pattern cream.
Bog tried a small sample,
And found it was ample.
Zev struggled to break free, or scream.

The guys, they all got themselves high,
The good stuff they all got to try.
Its not every day,
You get it fresh made.
Some were so happy they could cry.

A few hours later they woke.
Bog looked around, eyes filled with smoke.
He looked at Zev and Kai,
Blinked, and then rubbed his eye.
And in a surprised voice, he spoke.

"Stupid! We forgot the female."
"And his head! And brains, are they stale?"
"And his body too,"
"Oh, what shall we do."
"Let his body go from its jail!"

But Kai, with both portions now free.
Could implement, safely, Plan B.
He gave Bog cooking tips,
"Try using me in strips,"
Disrtracting Bog from his body.

Bog looked like he had swallowed coal.
And asked, "Can we go to the hole?"
Wist said, "Have a blast,"
Knowing 'twas their last.
For they had completed their role.

Wist tried to destroy his brainpan,
But Kai was no typical man.
He, ever the undead,
Cut off poor Wist's own head.
As it bounced past, "Bye Wist!" said Stan.

Bog's worm gang could be dimly seen,
Up at the hole, feeding the queen.
They seemed to enjoy it,
And smiled quite a bit,
While down the hole trickled their green.

They grinned at how fun the hole could be,
But, the circle ended, suddenly.
"Whats going on here?"
"The end is too near!"
They lost their brains, and their worms did flee.

"Take Stan back to the Lexx," said Kai,
"But do not leave or he may die."
"To make him un-ill,"
"The queen I must kill."
And he jumped down; Stan saying, "Bye!"

Zev rescued the brains, who were grateful,
Promising always to be faithful.
And bot head, unbusted,
after Zev still lusted.
While Stan stocked up pattern by crate-full.

Back to the big bug they all went,
Zev thinking their time not well spent.
Stan dreamed a small ditty,
Quite like Water Mitty,
Except for the worm paying rent.

On the Lexx, Zev put the brains home,
But distracted, she let Stan roam.
Zev's moth he did hijack;
Bot wanted a black pak.
For Stan he would not write a poem.

Zev ran out to get a fresh moth.
Stan told the Lexx to now lift off.
She said, "We're not leaving,"
"You'd best be believing."
"Don't fight me, you'll just make me wroth."

Kai found the queen, deep in her nest,
A putrid sort of place, at best.
Killing her was the plan,
In order to save Stan.
And Kai's not one to quit a quest.

But the queen was dying already,
Her green glow not shining so steady.
But she had left offspring,
One was this large cute thing...
The big Zev said, "You wouldn't kill me."

But kill her he did, with his slicer,
In the chest and head, he did dice her.
She fall down go boom;
But there was more doom,
As the next daughter was less nicer.

Next came out a very big Wist,
And she looked a little bit pissed.
She went above ground,
And guess what she found...
A big bug, needing to be kissed.

"Mama's Home", Said stan with much glee,
Whilst hitting Zev's face with his knee.
Then she grabbed his worm,
Causing him to squirm.
But a bigger worm made her flee.

Kai, meanwhile, with no firm base,
Tried shooting Big Wist in the face.
She nodded her head,
At Kai, the undead.
And hurled him out into space.

Zev was fleeing from Big Wist tongue.
She flew though the Lexx; head and lung.
But soon the tunnel quit,
So she turned to face it.
"Do you like me" the big tongue sung.

The Lexx was in pain, he said so.
"Stan, something is biting me. Ow!"
"It stings like a bee,"
"Please get it off me!"
But to Stan, Wist was friend, not foe.

But the ending, no one expects,
Turns out the hero is the Lexx.
He ignores poor Stan,
And makes his own plan.
Not caring just who it effects.

Klaagya goes boom in the night,
Its shards making an awsome sight.
The Lexx sees a piece,
To make biting cease.
Wist gets beheaded by its flight.

Zev sees the worm leave, off in pain.
Kai gets back to Lexx, once again.
On the bridge they meet,
And then Stan they greet,
By pulling his worm from his brain.

The moral of this ep, I think,
Is not to get too clean and pink,
Or some one will get you,
And make some pattern dew.
And then, with their friends, they will drink.

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4.0 "Gigashadow"                                                               ?
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