EXTERIOR: LEXX[The Lexx cruises by, music riff indicates low action.]
INTERIOR: LEXX -- CAFETERIA
[Kai is watching Stan order breakfast, showing little interest. Stan is ordering and tasting with his normal commanding wimpyness, showing the barest amount of enthusiasm.]
STAN: Lexx, not so much salt this time.
LEXX: As you request, Stan.
[Lexx dispenses something similar in appearance to playdough, which Stan picks up and tastes.]
STAN: You sure you don't want any?
KAI: I do not require food, the proto blood sustains me.
STAN: Ok, suit yourself.
[Stan shrugs and continues to eat.]
INTERIOR: LEXX -- BRIDGE
[790 is sitting on his table, scanning the heavens for a planet to investigate, looking bored, reciting poetry.]
790: All day on the Lexx Lexx, all day on the Lexx I did look.. finding a home for Zev is my job, as she's number one in my book. All week on the Lexx Lexx, all week on the Lexx I did sigh, theres nothing out here to call a home, and oh how I did try...
[790's scan pauses on a particular system. He rechecks the data several times before deciding it is worth investigating]
790 (yells): Zev, dearest, I think I may have found a planet for us... Zev?
INTERIOR: LEXX -- CAFETERIA
790 (from afar): Zev?
STAN: What is Pixlemouth screeching about now?
KAI: Perhaps you should ask him.
[Stan makes a rueful expression before getting up. Kai follows.]
INTERIOR: LEXX -- BRIDGE
[Stan enters and walks to 790, looking at screen.]
STAN: What now? See another nebulae that reminds you of Zev?
[790 rolls eyes in disgusted way.]
790: What I have found, bane of my existence, is a planet. It has a nitrogen-oxygen atmosphere and appears to contain primitive animal and plant life. Where is Zev?
STAN: It's not a garbage planet is it?
790: No, it appears to...
STAN: It's sun isn't dying, is it?
790: The Star, which I have designated T41178-A, is a main sequence yellow dwarf which will not...
[Stan perks up at this. He ignores 790 and climbs into control chair. He places hand on template.]
STAN: Lexx, set a course for that planet, lets go check it out.
KAI: 790, where is Zev?
790: I thought she was with you.
LEXX: As you request, Stan.
KAI: Stan, do you know where she is?
STAN: Huh? Oh, Zev went to torment the 14th Shadow. She seems to think he might have some useful knowledge about the Dark Zone that he is hiding. Or maybe she is trying to bring you back to life or something.
INTERIOR: LEXX -- BRAIN ROOM
[Zev has her face about an inch from the helpless exposed brain of the 14th Divine Shadow, the last surviving. He escaped death when the Giga Shadow was interrupted from its melee by Squish. Zev looks hungry.]
ZEV: Are you sure you won't help us?
BRAIN: I'd rather be eaten.
ZEV: Don't you feel just a bit of resentment towards the Giga Shadow? After all, he did try to turn you into hamburger.
BRAIN: It is not my place to Question, It is not my place to Ask Why...
[Zev looks impatient, a dangerous time to be around her.]
ZEV: I've heard it all before...
BRAIN: ...And the Giga Shadow...
ZEV: Tried to blow you up!
[Moth landing sounds.]
BRAIN: Well, yes, but He had His reasons.
ZEV: He was a big bug who wanted to exterminate the human race!
BRAIN: So? What do I care of the human race?
[Zev sighs.]
ZEV: I think I'm going about this the wrong way. Maybe if...
[Kai enters the room with his usual saunter. Zev gasps internally, as she always does when he is near.]
KAI: Your robot seems to have found something of interest...
ZEV: Kai, can you talk some sense into this pile of protein?
KAI: I doubt you will attain any useful information from the last Divine Predecessor. Any cooperation achieved under duress may prove to be malicious.
ZEV: I just thought that... maybe he knows...
KAI: He may claim vast knowledge, but I doubt he can help me... In the way you want.
[Brain chuckles. Zev directs her glare at brain and he shuts up.]
ZEV: Ok, what did 790 find?
KAI: A planet, that looks habitable... Stan is taking us in for a closer look.
[Zev sighs and gives odd look at Kai, then Brain. She then heads towards the Moth. Kai looks that the brain closely.]
ZEV: Coming?
[Kai's eyes cloud momentarily with black fog, he doesn't seem to notice. Brain is surprised and delighted at the same time, but manages to hide it. As Kai and Zev leave, he starts to chuckle.]
INTERIOR: MOTH -- FLYING THROUGH LEXX
ZEV: If the brain is so useless, why don't you want us to kill it?
KAI: I don't know, something tells me he may be needed.
ZEV: If he won't direct us to a planet, and if you.. if we...
[Kai gives Zev an understanding look, and they continue on in silence.]
INTERIOR: LEXX -- BRIDGE
[Stan, standing on control platform chair thingy, is looking at a planet approaching on the screen, he turns to watch the Moth land and Zev and Kai depart.]
790: Flower of creation! I missed you!
ZEV: I've been gone for 40 minutes.
790: An eternity, without thee...
[Zev looks at the planet. It is yellowish-green with a few spots of blue. With the sun behind and to the left, the terminator covers over half of it in darkness.]
ZEV: What can you tell me about It?
790: It is life supporting and appears inhabitable. If it proves otherwise it will at least be a chance for Lexx to top off his food reserves.
STAN: Ok, Lexx, take us...
[As Stan starts to speak the slow moving terminator reveals something on the planet. It sparkles faintly as sunlight falls upon it. Stan looks apprehensive.]
STAN: What is that?
[The view zooms in on the twinkle, which shows up as a bigger twinkle. The screen contrasts and dims to show what appears to be a large opaque glass pyramid, several kilometers high. Scan info scrolls to the left.]
790: It looks like a monument to stupidity. It is pure carbon...
ZEV: A Diamond?
790: The outside layer is, but the molecule arrangement below the surface is irregular, making it worthless. It would have taken more effort to make it than to make a diamond of that size.
[Kai looks at the pyramid thoughtfully.]
ZEV: Someone must have had a reason to make it.
STAN: Looks dangerous to me, I say we blow it up.
KAI: It looks familiar...
ZEV: Stan, we can't just go blowing up every plant that appears the least bit threatening.
STAN: Yes we can.
790: There is no sign of anything within the structure, it appears solid... and perfectly harmless.
[Zev glances at 790, and then at Stan.]
ZEV: See?
[Stan grumbles while Zev looks at him expectantly while 790 glares indigently while Kai continues to watch the screen. Stan grumbles some more.]
STAN: Ok, fine. But if we all get killed horribly, don't come crying to me. Lexx, take us down near that, whatever it is.
KAI: We should be careful...
[No one pays any attention to Kai.]
EXTERIOR: LEXX -- ABOVE PLANET
[Lexx heads closer to the planet.]
INTERIOR: LEXX -- BRIDGE
[Zev watches with excitement, Stan watches with trepidation, 790 watches with boredom, Kai watches with his normal expressionlessness.]
EXTERIOR: PLANET SURFACE -- MORNING
[The Lexx lands in a clearing of vegetation within a few kilometers of the pyramid. It immediately begins eating the grassy dirt. A moth appears, heading away from the Lexx.]
INTERIOR: MOTH -- FLYING TO PYRAMID
[Zev is flying as usual. Stan is in back seat looking worried and a bit bored. Kai is still looking at pyramid as if trying to solve a puzzle, which he is. 790 is between seats. The pyramid looks symmetrical.]
ZEV: Kai, any idea what it is?
790: It is a big rock, crown of creation.
[Zev glares at 790, who looks back with love.]
KAI: For some reason... I am reminded of a nursery rhyme from school, although I don't know why that pyramid would cause it...
[Zev looks a bit startled, and looks at Kai with a smirk.]
KAI: Much Brunnen-G knowledge was lost during the Great Crossing. The fractal core damaged many computers on the ships. However, the children's nursery rhymes all made it through intact. We have learned to heed their warnings, over the centuries.
[Zev's smirk fades to a puzzled pout.]
KAI: What I remember of the rhyme goes like this...
What do you want? What do you wish? To be a bird? To be a fish?
To live quite long and have much gold? To see our futures all unfold?
To be a King or Queen or Czar? To be a famous holo-star?
Or maybe you just do not know. Or maybe you just do not know.But I can find out all your wants. I'll search your mind and all its haunts.
I'll grant your wishes that you thought, you'd left behind and had forgot.
Your brain will tell me what you need, you never loose a wish's seed.
And many of them may scare you, but from your mind, I swear it true.And in the end you might just see, you'd wish you'd never hear of me!
ZEV: What does that mean?
KAI: I am unsure what significance it may bear to present occurrences.
[Zev alters her attention to flying the moth which is quickly approaching the Pyramid.]
EXTERIOR: PYRAMID
[The moth lands a few yards away from the pyramid. Our heroes disembark, Zev carrying 790. Zev walks over and feels the surface.]
STAN: Ok, you've seen it, its big and flat and boring, lets go back to the ship now.
ZEV: Why are you in such a hurry, Stan? We just got here, and the Lexx will be eating for at least another hour. Besides, we could be spending our lives here.
[Kai's puzzled frown has become haggard and his brow creases dangerously as he glares at the pyramid.]
STAN: Ok, you can hang around here. I am going back to the Lexx.
790: You worthless, cowering, moronic bag of water...
[Zev notices Kai's face.]
ZEV: Kai! Are you allright?
KAI: I remember... A name...
[Kai puts his hands to the sides of his head and thinks. After a minute he speaks quietly and uncertainly.]
KAI: Roumzai?
[The wind blows a bit harder and the ground trembles slightly, the effects die down after a minute.]
STAN: What was that!?
ZEV: Who or what is Roomzay?
KAI: I think perhaps it would be best not to repeat that name.
[The pyramid seems to be humming very quietly. Zev puts her ear against it.]
STAN: We are going back to the Lexx. Now!
ZEV: Hush, Stan. I hear...
[The humming seems to manifest as a violet sheen, covering the pyramid wall facing our gang. It coalesces near ground level and a aperture appears in the grayish wall of the pyramid. It is triangular and about 10 feet high and 12 wide. It leads into apparent darkness.]
ZEV: Hello, what's this?
[Zev pokes her head around the corner, looking into a tunnel the shape of the opening but with rounded corners, dimly lit and leading off to an apparent vanishing point.]
KAI: I don't think you should do that...
STAN: Now look what you've gone and done...
790: Perhaps this planet is not as safe as I had calculated...
ZEV: I'm going in. Coming?
STAN: NO.
KAI: We should not get separated.
ZEV: Come on Stan, be a man.
[This seems to finally have an effect on Stan. He does his why-me she-is-so-stupid I-am-a-martyr sigh.]
STAN: If we all die, I'll never forgive you!
INTERIOR: PYRAMID -- TUNNEL
[Zev looks slightly amused at this. She enters the tunnel. Kai follows and Stan brings up the rear. After several steps the tunnel mouth suddenly disappears, but an eerie glow replaces it.]
STAN: I knew this was a bad idea.
[They continue down the tunnel for several minutes. After a while it is apparent that the floor is slowly tilting, but the tunnel remains straight. They are soon walking in the rounded corner, and then on the right wall. Stan looks in both directions.]
STAN: I think I'm gonna be sick.
[They continue on, returning to the 'bottom' of the tunnel, when they reach a dead end.]
ZEV: Now what?
KAI: Perhaps we should knock.
[Zev taps on the wall lightly; nothing happens. She baps it with her fist; even less happens.]
STAN: Ok, nobody home.
ZEV: Hmm.
[Zev pounds 790 against the wall several times. An uncanny amount of silence follows.]
ZEV: What was that name again?
[Kai looks uncertain but finally emits a conceding sigh.]
KAI: Roumzai
INTERIOR: PYRAMID -- CHAMBER
[The dead end suddenly isn't. The end of the tunnel opens into a vast chamber, which seems larger than the outside of the pyramid. Everyone slowly walks into the room. It is roughly circular, with a flat bottom and a domed ceiling lost far above in the haze. Illumination appears to come from nowhere, as it did in the hallway which doesn't seem to exist behind the crew anymore. Stan doubletakes on noticing this.]
STAN: Um
ECHOES: MMMMMMMMMMMMMmMMmmMmmmmmmmmm mmmm mmm mm m m
[This causes much head turning and glaring about. After it fades to a low hum, Zev shrugs and walks towards the center of the chamber, marked by what appears to be a slightly brighter spot on the floor, as if from a spotlight quite high overhead.]
ZEV: Hmm
[Zev spins about, looking for the echo, which is nowhere to be seen, or even heard this time.]
790: My Blue-Haired Heaven, I think we have done enough exploring of this place.
STAN: Bodless wonnder has the right idea, lets--
[Zev fills her lungs, as if to yell.]
ZEV: ROUMZ---
[Zev is interrupted by the sudden utter and total darkness.]
INTERIOR: DARKNESS
[All that Zev can hear is her own breathing and heartbeat.]
ZEV: Hello? Kai?!?
[Utter silence.]
ZEV: Seven Ninety??
[Total silence.]
ZEV: ...Stan?
[Absolute silence.]
ZEV: Roumzai?
[Just a bit less silent. Just a bit less dim.]
INTERIOR: B3K -- WEDDING CHAPEL #417-A
[Zev is wearing a wedding dress (untorn) and a veil. Before her stands BERAN, her almost-husband, a spoiled brat about 12 years old. Zev lifts the veil in confusion.]
ZEV: Wha...?
[Beran sees her face and a look of surprise crosses it.]
BERAN: Your beautiful!
BERAN'S MOM: You got a good one son, congratulations!
BERAN'S DAD: Yup, much better than mine was.
[Beran's dad smirks and Beran's mom looks at him with a weary but accepting expression. Zev looks horrified.]
ZEV: No... this can't be...
BERAN: Come on, get to the good part.
[The aged Cleric performing the ceremony has been staring at Zev.]
CLERIC: Hmm? Oh, yes, yes. You may now kiss--
ZEV: NO!
[Zev punches BERAN in the face and runs for the door.]
EXTERIOR: SPACE -- ENTALIA 7
[A large, mostly blue planet. Entalia 7 is the current headquarters of the Ostral B Pair Heretics. A small transport flies into frame and approaches the planet. Many hundreds of ships are in orbit around it. They are Breakan Class warships mostly, with some transports and miscellaneous other ships mixed in. The view pans 180 degrees to show the LEXX, peacefully floating in orbit.]
EXTERIOR: ENTAILIA 7 -- PALACE
[The transport lands. Crowds outside a large glittering palace cheer and wave their arms. A ramp lowers and Stanley Tweedle, clothed in shimmering robes and looking somewhat surprised and bemused, descends. He is escorted along a red carpet to a large platform by many excited looking heretics, some of which were with Thodin on the strike against the Cluster. The High Priest of the Free Light is standing in the middle, along with his Disciples. He is a tall, skinny man wearing a plain white robe, and he carries the ceremonial staff of light.]
HIGH PRIEST: Stanley Tweedle, you have vanquished His Shadow. The Cluster is destroyed, the Divine Order is in chaos, and the Lexx is in our possession, but at such a cost. Our glorious leader, Thodin, killed by a merciless assassin.
STAN: Huh? oh..
HIGH PRIEST: But, let us not dwell on such matters. The assassin is in custody and will be taken care of another day. We are here to award you the Oval of Free Light, the ultimate honor, and humbly ask you to be our new leader, as you--
STAN: Wait a minute, what?
HIGH PRIEST: Our leader, we want you to--
STAN: No, the part about the assassin. You captured him? He's here?
HIGH PRIEST: The assassin? Yes... We found him on the Lexx in cold storage. He calls himself Kai, and claims to be Brunnen-G! He is in the deepest darkest dungeon on Entalia.
STAN: Can I see him? Now?
[The High Priest looks startled. The Disciples start to fidget.]
HIGH PRIEST: I think it would be best if you did not.
STAN: I said, take me to him!
HIGH PRIEST: All right, this way.
[The High Priest leads Stan towards the palace.]
INTERIOR: PALACE -- DARK CORRIDOR
[Stan follows the High Priest down a long corridor, getting deeper and darker. A dozen guards escort them.]
HIGH PRIEST: He admitted to killing Thodin, but claims he was under His Shadow's control at the time. We believe him, but he also says he got his memory back somehow. Shadow Assassins cannot get their memory back, they are completely cleansed by the Bioscholars and reprogrammed.
STAN: He got it back from one of the brains.
HIGH PRIEST: So you spoke with him? He told us the same tale.
[Stan looks a bit worried.]
INTERIOR: PALACE -- DUNGEON
[They arrive at the end of the tunnel, in the dungeon where Kai is being held. Kai's severed head is sealed in a thick glass or plastic container, on a pedestal in a cell, behind very thick bars. His body is in the next cell, chained and latched to the wall, and the lower half of his right arm is missing. Kai sees Stan.]
KAI: Hello Stan.
STAN: Kai! You don't look so hot, where are Zev and 790? What happened? How did we get back to the Light Universe?
KAI: Who are Zev and 790? What do you mean 'back to the Light Universe'?
STAN: You know, Zev Bellringer? The Love Slave? And last I remember we were in the Dark Zone, in a big glass pyramid.
[The High Priest looks a bit startled.]
KAI: You are not making any sense Stan. I have never been to the Dark Zone, and I highly doubt you have.
HIGH PRIEST: Love Slave? Stan, Love Slaves, they were an abomination that died out with the Cluster. You would not want to run into one anyways, they have been known to kill heretics in very bad ways when least expected. Its part of their programming.
STAN: She was never programmed, she escaped. Now, where is she?
HIGH PRIEST: Escaped? Ha! I have done some research (cough) into the matter. They are kept under the securest guard to make sure nothing interrupts the process. And, there was no one on the Lexx but you, 5 of Thodin's support team, and the assassin. And of course, His Shadow's dead body and the Divine Predecessors.
[Stan looks a bit more worried, so tries another tactic.]
STAN: Release Kai.
HIGH PRIEST: What!?
STAN: Release him!
HIGH PRIEST: We can't do that, Stan.
STAN: What? Why not?
HIGH PRIEST: He is to be executed tomorrow. Well, being already dead, we are gonna toss him into the sun. Him and the Lexx.
STAN: The Lexx!? Why? Its under my control, the Divine Order is finished.
HIGH PRIEST: It is too dangerous to exist, we cannot let it be.
STAN: I demand you release Kai, and find Zev, and the Lexx will NOT be destroyed, do I make my self clear?
HIGH PRIEST: Stan, you are the greatest hero to mankind of all time, but you are not out leader yet. The ceremony will not take place for another few weeks. So, with all due respect, keep your nose out of our affairs until then, or we will make sure 'then' never happens.
[Stan looks aghast at this.]
KAI: Stan, it is for the best. Neither I nor the Lexx is worth this, and I am sure this Love Slave is dead.
STAN: No.... no!
[Stan makes a dash for the tunnel, knocking the High Priest over on the way.]
INTERIOR: LEXX -- BRIDGE
[Stan is standing next to Zev, looking like he would rather be cowering on the floor. Zev looks frightened but determined. They are facing Kai, standing on the platform by a moth shuttle.]
ZEV: You have the Lexx back. Let us go.
KAI: I do as His Shadow instructs. I will kill both of you.
[Kai raises his blade arm and aims it at the minor heretics. He fires, killing them both with one cleanly exectued slice. Just as the blade returns, he hears faint but urgent screams. He jumps in the moth and takes off.
INTERIOR: LEXX -- BRAIN ROOM
[The Divine Predecessors are screaming as a Cluster Lizard snacks through their ranks. Kai enters from one end and quickly dispatches it.]
BRAINS: Who are you?
KAI: I was sent by His Shadow, #1 to protect you, and #2 to kill those who tried to steal the Lexx.
BRAINS: Yes, kill those who have done this terrible deed, kill them quickly.
KAI: They are already dead.
BRAINS: Oh, good.
[Kai picks up pieces of brains and bowls, trying to arrange them in a slightly more suitable manner. As he gets to one in particular, though, he pauses.]
KAI: I know that sound.
BRAIN: But you cannot remember it, as you do not remember who you are.
[Pause.]
KAI: I am Kai, last of the Brunnen-G.
BRAINS: The prophecy is upon us!
BRAIN: The Brunnen-G are extinct. You are animated flesh that kills for His Shadow. You have no willpower of your own.
KAI: Wrong, I have willpower, you have given it to me.
[Kai commences to crush the brain to little itty bits, with lots of flashing mist and stuff, regaining his memory.]
BRAINS: Aiiiieeee!
[Kai drops the bits of brain, and starts to head back to the bridge. But he recalls that no one is alive there, so decided to stay and finish off the brains. He starts down the line, tearing and stomping them. One particular Brain, down on the end, is zoomed in on.]
BRAIN: Nooooooooooo!
INTERIOR: KLAAGYA -- BOG'S DEN
[Bog is standing by his pattern machine, with Kai's head in his hands, which had just spoken. Stan is watching on, amused. Zev, still tied up, is frightened but relieved that Kai is still functioning. Wist looks on; cold, calculating. 790 is blacked out on the floor, nearby. Bog drops Kai's head and looks a bit astonished.]
BOG: Ask permission to go to the hole.
WIST: Go.
BOG: Come on Stanley.
STAN: All right, the hole.
[The Patterened out menials start to stumble to a tunnel at the back of the room, chanting.]
MENIALS: Hole, hole, hole.
[Stan and Bog go along with the rest, up to feed the queen.]
MENIALS: Hole, hole, hole.
[Wist picks up Kai's head and starts to put it in the pattern machine.]
ZEV: Mmhhfnoo!
[Kai's body moves, and sits up. He shoots his blade to catch his head, but misses. It gets tangled in the rack of brains.]
KAI: Hmm
[Wist spares a glance at Kai and the blade, then puts his head into the ominous machine. She flips a switch or two and the machine starts up. Without being able to see, Kai's body fumbles around a bit, but manages to get the blade loose and retracted. Wist walks over to look at Zev.]
ZEV: Mhhfkhrai!
[Quick view of interior of Pattern machine. Kai's head is slowly approaching the fan blade, and he is looking around futilely. Outside, as Zev struggles, Wist pulls out a slim knife and runs it along her cheek.]
WIST: You will make excellent pattern.
[Kai's body fumbles over to where Wist and Zev are, bumping into things. With arms extended, it finally manages to lay a hand on Wist.]
WIST: You are not relevant.
[Kai's right arm extends, pointing at Wist's neck. He fires, decapitating her.]
ZEV: Yhmt hmmhed!
[Inside view of machine, Kai's head is now inches away from the blade. Kai's body fumbles with Zev's bonds a bit, getting them slightly loose, but then starts to shake uncontrollably. The machine makes weird thumping and grinding sounds.]
ZEV: Mhnooooo! Hmkhia!
[After a few seconds, a stream of glowing liquid flows down the output tube and puddles on the counter top. Instead of the normal healthy green sheen though, this pattern is a sickly red.]
BRAINS: Hahahehe
[Zev, crying and struggling, finally manages to get free after a minute or two.]
ZEV: Kai!? KAI!
[From up at the hole, faint screams can be heard. Zev pays no attention.]
SOMEONE: What's going on!
[Zev runs over to the machine and opens the lid. Internal shot shows her lean over and gasp in horror, then begin to cry.]
ZEV: Kai, I... to lose you twice in one day...
[She sees 790 on the floor on the other side, and kicks him. His lights blink and he activates.]
790: Zev! Your alive! Where are we...
ZEV: He's gone! Kai is gone!
[790 looks a bit sad. Zev picks him up almost tenderly. She continues to look distraught.]
790: How did we get back to Klaagya? We destroyed the planet several months ago.
[Zev looks at 790 curiously.]
ZEV: I must have hit you harder than I thought.
[Stan wanders down from the hole, a bit flustered.]
STAN: Hi... uh... Zev!
[Zev gives Stan a look full of daggers, and her fingers clench involuntarily.]
ZEV: We should get back to the Lexx. Whatever is wrong with you, 790 can help you best there, and Kai... Kai...
[Zev looks at the body and blinks back a tear. 790 hears a sound from the pit.]
790: The queen! We have to get away from here!
ZEV: What?
790: The queen satellite worm will attack the Lexx, grab Kai's body and lets go.
[Zev looks a bit startled, but nods. She glances at Stan who is peering at the red pattern with a sick look on his face.]
ZEV: Stan, help me get Kai's body, and lets go.
BRAINS: Don't leave us! You need us!
[Zev, picking up Kai's feet, glances at the brains.]
ZEV: My hands are full. Your on your own, guys. See you in the next cycle of time.
BRAINS: Aaaaaaahhhhhh!
INTERIOR: MOTH -- IN FLIGHT
[Stan is humming quietly to himself. 790 is in the back seat on Kai's body's lap. He is scanning the body quietly.]
EXTERIOR: KLAAGYA -- EVENING
[The moth approaches and enters the Lexx.]
INTERIOR: LEXX -- BRIDGE
[The moth lands and Stan jumps out immediately. Zev reaches back to get 790.]
790: Get Kai. I know you won't like this, but it could be our only hope.
[Zev looks slightly annoyed, but complies. Stan, meanwhile, has jumped on the control chair.]
STAN: Lexx, I command you to lift off.
[Zev drags Kai over to the little table that 790's head resides on.]
LEXX: I have not completed my feeding, my reserves are at--
[Zev goes back to the moth and fetches 790, whom she places on the table.]
STAN: Lexx, I command you to IMMEDIATELY lift off!
790: You must attach me to Kai's body, so I can defeat the queen's daughters.
LEXX: As you request, Stan.
ZEV: What!?
790: If you don't, we all could die. I don't know if this is real or not, but I can't take the chance, my love.
[Zev looks very angry, but one glance at Stan convinces her that he won't be any help.]
ZEV: Ok. Tell me what to do.
EXTERIOR: LEXX -- OVER KLAAGYA
[The Lexx flies over the landscape. A BIG WIST and a just slightly less gigantic BIG ZEV appear underneath. The Big Wist reaches up and grabs a hold of the Lexx. The Big Zev reaches up but misses; she is not tall enough. She grabs a hold of Big Wist's feet before they get too far off the ground.]
INTERIOR: LEXX -- BRIDGE
[790's head is sitting on Kai's body, and 790's eyes show the progress of the attachment. Stan is watching the two giants outside with glee, and trying to pour himself some pattern. Zev is watching 790, and he senses her apprehension and distrust.]
790: Ahhh, ouch.
[The Lexx viewscreen shows them passing through and leaving the Klaagyan atmosphere.]
EXTERIOR: LEXX -- IN SPACE
[Big Zev slowly climbs up the Big Wist's body, until she also gets a firm hold on the Lexx. Big Wist has attached vine like appendages to the Lexx, meanwhile. She leans her head back and then penetrates the hull with her worm-tongue.]
LEXX: Ouch! Distress!
[The Big Zev looks for a good spot to penetrate the hull. Meanwhile, an airlock aperture nearby opens and 790, wearing Kai's body, emerges. He sees the two giants, Big Wist is concentrating on something inside with her tongue/worm, and Big Zev has turned from her perusing to look curiously at him.]
INTERIOR: LEXX -- BRIDGE
[These events are showing on the viewscreen, but no one seems to be watching. The view lowers to show Stan tied and gagged on the floor, behind the control chair, and struggling weakly to reach the bottle of pattern nearby. The Lexx is shaking, meanwhile.]
LEXX: Stan, something is biting me and it hurts a lot.
STAN: Hmphh Phppthmn.
INTERIOR: LEXX -- INNARDS
[Zev is flying a moth at dangerous speeds through the Lexx. Big Wist's tongue/snake/face/worm is in hot pursuit.]
EXTERIOR: LEXX -- IN SPACE
[790 has been crawling across the ocular parabola to get a good shot. He halts and his eyescreens briefly show trajectory calculations.]
790: Forgive me, large giant evil predator that doth remind me of my Zev.
[790 fires Kai's scorpion blade into the Big Zev's forehead, and then retracts it.]
BIG ZEV: Ugh.
[Big Zev's eyes glaze over and she looses her grip, which was half on the Lexx and half on Big Wist. She floats peacefully off into space. The Big Wist looks up at 790 with dangerous eyes.]
INTERIOR: LEXX -- BRIDGE
LEXX: I want it off me! Stan?
EXTERIOR: LEXX -- IN SPACE
[790's eye calculations indicate that shooting Big Wist in the forehead would not be very effective. His eyes flash several more target scenarios, but the Lexx, meanwhile, decides it is finally time to take matters into its own hands.]
EXTERIOR: KLAAGYA -- SPACE
[The LEXX does a 180 spin and fires a planet destroying ribbon at Klaagya. Halfway to the planet the ribbon rips through the mostly dead Big Zev floating in space, making lots of nasty green bits. As it hits Klaagya, the planet is sliced in two.]
INTERIOR: LEXX -- INNARDS
[Zev reaches a dead end, at the very aft of the Lexx. She turns the moth to face Big Wist's tongue's face.]
BIG WIST: Do you like me?
[Zev does not appear to.]
EXTERIOR: LEXX -- IN SPACE
[A large chunk of Klaagya is on a collision course with the Lexx. The Lexx changes its position so it does a near miss of the parabola but manages to behead Big Wist in the process. 790 ducks a large chunk of undefined green tentacle that flies in his direction.]
INTERIOR: LEXX -- INNARDS
[The Big Wist's tongue, which was about to do unspeakable things to poor Zev, suddenly shrivels up and get pulled away from Zev.]
EXTERIOR: LEXX -- IN SPACE
LEXX: That feels better.
INTERIOR: LEXX -- BRIDGE
[Stan appears to be unconscious. His worm had chewed halfway through the gag but now lies on his shoulder, dead. Zev's moth can be heard landing on the platform behind, and 790 descends from the ceiling airlock.]
790: It is finished.
[Zev doesn't answer, she stares out the viewscreen at the pieces of green slime floating in the void.]
790: Zev? I am sorry about Kai. But, there was nothing we could do.
[Zev looks him full in the face, and grimaces in an attempt to not shed tears.]
ZEV: I know, he was dead already, but I can't help...
STAN: Mhhglg
[Stan's eyes blink a few times then open. He stares at the floor in front of him, then at 790, then at Zev, then back at 790, then again at 790.]
790: So, the protein sack survived. I suppose we should release him.
[Zev looks at Stan for a long moment, then leans over and pulls the worm out of his neck, which causes a bit of distress to Stan.]
STAN: Ahhhiieeieehgh.
ZEV: Be still.
[Zev, after tossing the worm to 790, roughly removes his gag and starts to untie his hands next.]
STAN: What happened to Kai's head? What is silicon face doing on his body? Where are we?
[790 is examining the worm.]
ZEV: You let Kai die, YOU did! I should throw you off this ledge, I should... I...
STAN: What? No--
790: This worm is part of a genetically engineered predator, created for the specific purpose of destroying the human population on a world by controlling them, turning them against each other, and feeding off of them. Anything Stan did since he was infected is probably not his fault.
[Zev looks at 790, then at Stan. She downcasts her eyes and continues to untie Stan.]
ZEV: I am sorry, you didn't kill him. I just miss him. He did save us from the Divine Order by killing His Shadow--
INTERIOR: 790'S HEAD
[We see that last line through 790's point of view, as if in his head. At the point where Zev says 'killing His Shadow' his view turns to red shades. A voice talks in 790's head.]
VOICE: Love Slave programing emergency behavior override, arch heretics identified and unsuspecting, means of guaranteed destruction at hand. Destroy immediately.
790: Must destroy...
[Zev hears faintly. She cocks an ear at 790 but does not turn her head. She continues to untie Stan's bound feet.]
ZEV: What was that, 790?
[From 790's point of view, we see him raise Kai's right arm, point it at Zev, and fire. Stan watches in amazement, then struggles to get to his feet.]
STAN: No!
[The blade returns and 790 aims it at Stan. He fires.]
VOICE: Heretics safely eliminated, return to normal love slave operation.
[790's eyesight returns to normal.]
INTERIOR: LEXX -- BRIDGE
[790's eyes go from bright red to the normal shades of his digital eyes. He takes one look at the bodies of Zev and Stan before him before screaming.]
790: ZEV! WHAT HAVE I DONE!? NOOO!!!!
[790 takes a running leap, past the moth, and off the nearest ledge.]
INTERIOR: PYRAMID -- CHAMBER
[The interior of the Pyramid is dim and silent. Suddenly the mysterious light above the center comes on again, illuminating an odd haze, as if the dust of thousands of years had been disturbed. The whole pyramid shakes with a sudden deep quick rumble, that soon passes. A few bits of rock/ceiling fall and bounce on the floor. An echo slowly builds.]
ECHO (quiet at first): noooooo Nooooo...
[Abruptly a green flash of light or glowing air or whatever appears, and at the same time the echo solidifies as Zev's voice. Zev pops out of the light running, yelling.]
ZEV: No! Noo-
[Zev stops and looks around her. The green light from behind her slowly fades.]
ZEV: Wha...
[Another echo, another flash of green, and out pops Stan. He is running and looking over his shoulder.]
STAN: No! I have to save the Lexx, I have to find Zev, I...
[He stops just short of running into Zev. He looks at her in amazement.]
ZEV: Stan!
STAN: Zev? Zev! Your... where... what...
ZEV: I don't know what's going on either, where is Kai?
STAN: Kai? I just saw... I hope that wasn't... I don't know.
[They are interrupted by another echoing 'No!', and another flash, this time from above. They both look up. Suddenly 790, with the body of Kai, falls to the floor quite hard.]
STAN: What happened to him?
ZEV: Kai? 790! What did you do to him!
[Zev leans over and looks at 790's eye screens, which are blinking on and off.]
ZEV: Answer me!
[She lifts the head and lets it fall a few times. His screens stabilize.]
790: Zev! Your alive! But I killed you! Or did I?
ZEV: What? Where is--
[A sudden rumble rocks the pyramid again, causing more dust to raise and more pieces of ceiling to rain. 790 gets to Kai's feet slowly, yellow light flashing over his body healing him from the fall. Off in the shadows there is an ominous creak followed by a loud crash. Stan jumps startledly.]
STAN: I don't like the sound of that.
790: No time to explain, Zev, we have to get out of here! I will look for the way out.
[Another echo, but this one of many voices. A brighter green flash, and Kai appears. He saunters out quickly. The green glow behind him does not fade.]
ZEV: Kai!
STAN: Kai!
KAI: What a rush.
[Another more violent rumble. This one causes a fair sized chunk of ruble to crash down a few feet from Stan. 790 is peering off into the shadows, looking for the way out.]
ZEV: What is going on? What was that?
KAI: I think we got our wishes.
STAN: What's happening to this place?
KAI: I fear I was too much for Roumzai. All the memories I have, all His Shadow has killed...
[Rumble]
790: There is the exit!
[Rumble, and a computer voice echoes through the chamber.]
ROUMZAI: Warning, ethereal plane overlap fissure in progress.
[The Green light behind Kai suddenly flashes brighter. Shapes begin to walk out. Beran and the Priest and Wist and Thodin and Giggerota and His Shadow and Squish and 790 with an android body and Big Zev and Big Wist and Squish and several Brunnen-G and a hoard of Ostral B Heretics and another Kai and Zev and Stan and 790, and many unnamed and unrecognizable characters too. The original quartet look on in a bit of amazement.]
KAI: Run!
BERAN: Hey!
HIGH PRIEST: Hey!
THODIN: Hey!
[Rumble]
OTHER STAN: Wait for me!
GIGGEROTA: HEY!
WIST: Do you like me?!
HIS SHADOW: Stop.
[Stan screams. Our heroes run after 790, who leads them towards the exit that only he can see. After a bit they see the light through the haze. Most of the rabble give chase, but some fight among themselves. Another violent rumble causes a large crack in the pyramid, and daylight seeps in. Quite a massive chunk falls onto several hapless facsimiles.]
OTHER ZEV: Kai!
OTHER KAI: Zev!
BIG ZEV: Ugh
[790 reaches the entrance first. He stops and waits for Zev to catch up.]
790: Hurry!
[As soon as Zev is started down the tunnel they came in, he flows after. Stan and Kai soon follow.]
[Rumble]
[They suddenly reach the end of the tunnel and emerge into daylight. They look around surprised.]
KAI: It seemed longer the first time.
[Rumble]
[Rumble]
[The Cave entrance billows out a great cloud of dust. Far above, the figure of the pyramid can be seen caving in on itself. The tunnel collapses.]
ZEV: Whoa.
STAN: Whew, thought we'd get it for sure that time.
KAI: We aren't safe yet.
[790 looks around, and sees Zev and Stan with their backs to him, and suddenly remembers.]
790: Kai, quickly! Remove my head from this body!
KAI: What? I don't understand.
790: No time to explain. Your safety depends on me being bodiless.
[Zev looks at 790 curiously. Stan looks at 790 curiously. Kai looks at 790 curiously, but also seems to comprehend. He aims his right arm and 790's neck and fires. 790 falls to the ground and the headless Kai body falls on top of him.]
790: Ouch.
[Zev tries to hide a smirk. Stan meanwhile has been looking off where they parked the Lexx, making strangling noises.]
STAN: Where is the Lexx!?
[At that moment a large shadow passes over them, and a few seconds later another one. They look up curiously to see Lexx and some other sort of insect shape, flying in circles several miles overhead.]
ZEV: What is Lexx up there with?
KAI: Perhaps the Lexx got his wish too.
790: Can someone get this body off of me?
STAN: Shh! I hear something.
[Stan walks back over to the mostly silent remains of Roumzai and listens against the surface. Deep inside he can hear sounds, voices.]
STAN: There is someone, or something, still alive in there!
ZEV: Should we get them out?
KAI: They are not real, but they are dangerous. I think the time has come to depart.
STAN: That sounded like His Shadow!
[Kai walks over to the headless body of him and pulls it off of 790. He hands 790 to Zev, who has been mostly watching the Lexx, then walks towards the moth. Stan has been listening to the sounds inside with growing anxiety.]
KAI: You guys coming?
[Zev and Stan nod and follow him. They enter the moth and take off.]
INTERIOR: MOTH -- FLYING TO LEXX
[Zev is flying in the general direction of the Lexx, who is still doing spirals with the other bug-ish form. They are still very far away. Kai is in the back seat, looking. Stan is working at the console, and seems quite a bit calmer now that he is off the planet surface.]
STAN: Lexx, can you hear me?
[Static crackles through the speaker. Stan turns a knob.]
LEXX: Stan?
STAN: Lexx! Stop buzzing around, so we can catch up to you!
LEXX: Sorry, as you command Stan.
[The Lexx stops spinning around. It aims itself face to face with whatever the other distant critter is for a timeless instant, and then turns towards the moth. The other form seems to watch the Lexx depart, then heads off in the opposite direction, and off-planet. Zev seems to have a lump in her throat. 790, sitting in Zev's lap and as usual staring at her face, notices her expression.]
790: Are you okay Zev?
ZEV: What? I'm fine.
[Stan glances over at them then glances back to the Lexx, and the speck in the distance.]
STAN: Lexx, what was that?
LEXX: Stan?
STAN: That thing you were with, that bug?
LEXX: Hey! That was no... I do not know, Stan. Why do you ask?
STAN: Lexx? Are you feeling all right?
LEXX: Perfectly, I am just fine, fine.
[They are distracted by a sudden explosion below. The moth tilts a bit so Stan can peer down at the pyramid below. Remnants of a fireball can be seen. The Lexx is about halfway to them.]
STAN: Um.
KAI: Stan, tell the Lexx to hurry.
STAN: Lexx, could you hurry up a bit?
LEXX: Sure thing, Stan.
[The Lexx goes just a bit faster, and soon arrives. The moth flies towards the Lexx and disappears inside.]
INTERIOR: LEXX -- BRIDGE
[The moth lands, and our party disembarks. Stan walks to the control chair and looks casually at the pyramid in the viewscreen. Kai and Zev look intently at the screen. Stan adjusts his collar.]
STAN: Hmm, does it seem hot in here to you guys?
LEXX: I did my best, Stan.
STAN: What?
[There is another explosion in the pyramid, this one quite a bit larger.]
KAI: Tell the Lexx to destroy the planet, Stan. Quickly.
ZEV: What is down there?
KAI: Something from the past, something from long ago.
[The pyramid explosions seem to register to Stan, over the heat. He looks anxiously at the planet.]
STAN: Ahh, Lexx, blow this baby up.
LEXX: As you request Stan.
EXTERIOR: PLANET -- SPACE
[The LEXX obediently turns from its departure angle, to facing the planet. It fires its ocular parabola and slices the planet in two.]
INTERIOR: LEXX -- BRIDGE
[Zev is looking at Kai for signs of emotion, and seems surprised that he is showing what appears to be great relief. Stan fans himself with his hat.]
STAN: Well, that was exciting. Lexx, can you cool it off a bit in here?
LEXX: As you request, Stan.
INTERIOR: LEXX -- CAFETERIA
[Stan is munching on something vaguely edible. Zev, Kai, and 790 seem to be talking.]
ZEV: And then he says "Hurry up and get to the good part!".
KAI: I don't blame him.
[Zev shoots an amused glance at Kai.]
790: And then what happened? You didn't... surely!... Did you?
[Zev shoots an amused glance at 790. 790 looks on expectantly.]
ZEV: Well, he was kind of cute. I was trained all my life to love who I was given to....
[790 makes an involuntary pained moan.]
ZEV: Actually I decked him and ran for the door. Next thing I know I am back in the Pyramid.
STAN: Interesting.
[Stan looks disinterested.]
790: I am glad you were faithful, dove-toes!
ZEV: Yah, and I am glad you didn't kill us when our backs were turned.. oh wait, you did.
790: That was not my fault! It seems that Clusterian love slaves were programmed to destroy His Shadow's enemies in case of theft.
ZEV: So, how come you didn't know beforehand?
790: No one has ever stolen a love slave from the cluster, Zev-dumpling.
KAI: It is good to know this, now rather than later. We would not want to learn of it the hard way.
STAN: I'll drink to that.
[Zev nods in agreement. 790 gives a somewhat abashed look to Zev and "I will kill him" look to Stan. Zev turns back to Kai.]
ZEV: Kai, tell us what yours was like.
KAI: Hmm, I recall very little. It was mostly incomprehensible flickers from many points of view. Besides, I should be heading back to cryostasis.
ZEV: Kai, that's not fair. We told you all about what we did...
KAI: Life is not fair, and neither is death. Go with Stan and find us a home... and wake me up when you get there.
[Zev sighs. Kai leaves the room, headed for a moth. Zev stares after him and looks sad. She suddenly starts.]
ZEV: Oh, I wonder if the divine predecessor is doing ok? Perhaps he dreamed of acquiring body...
[Zev looks at 790.]
ZEV: ...or becoming one with a giant insect...
[Zev looks at the Lexx.]
ZEV: ...or chopping Kai up into little bits...
[Zev looks at Stan. Stan grins amusedly.]
STAN: He probably dreamed of us dead, and ended up eaten by Leatherass.
ZEV: Well, I could live with that. But remember, its your turn to clean up any mess.
[Stan gets up and walks to bridge.]
STAN: Hmmph, I'll check later. How about we go look for a home, as ol' Resting in Pieces suggested.
[Zev picks up 790 and follows.]
ZEV: Okay, but check before it starts to smell, like the last time.
EXTERIOR: LEXX
[Lexx cruises by.]
STAN: Yeah yeah. Lexx, find us a home...
[Music riff indicates you can now either watch the credits or go for a drink.]
The End